It is Done

beg and endThese words are written only once in the Bible, in Revelations 21:6. “And He told me, It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty, I will give freely from the spring of the water of life.”

These are the same words that came to mind today as I signed the two thin sheets of paper in front of an uncomfortable notary at my bank. These two signatures that will end 408 months of our marriage. Those are the actual words that are written on the forms, 408 months. There is “no hope of reconciling” according to these documents, and I still do not even know what those differences are. I just know that “It is Done.” My marriage is now torn apart.

During 2018, I am going to write about moving on with my life after all these years of being married. I have no clue at this point about what I will write about, my life has been on hold since July, waiting for the guillotine to drop. This is new territory for me, and I do not love it at all. I despise it. I wish I could crawl in a hole and never come out.

To be going through this at Christmas is my worst nightmare. I knew that my husband would end up signing the papers this very week. We have lived apart for six months, but this is his chosen time to finally sign the dissolution papers. A memory that will be with me forever each Christmas, and a very painful way to end the year. But what a perfect way to begin the new year!

I have a caring bible study group, I just found a divorce support group, I have been going to therapy for months, and I just started reading the Joy of Happiness, written by the Dali Lama ten years ago. I am a Christian but his spiritual approach to happiness bridges every religion. Happiness is something that God wants for all of us, regardless of our faith. I also hope to learn more from all of you as we go through this next year together.

I re-named this blog just a month before my husband left me. Embracing Life is precisely what I am determined to do, even more than in the past. I am learning how not to let people hurt me anymore, even those who lash out with painful words. Words that cut to the bone and stay in our hearts forever. However, if we focus on being truly happy we can become healthy survivors, anxiously awaiting new opportunities. As my dear friend said to me today. “New doors will open up and take your life in a direction that will bring you great happiness.” We cannot forget the past and the pain that we have endured, but we can finally take full control of our lives. My life will be centered on faith and happiness, listening to Gods guidance every day.

I encourage you to follow this blog and generously share your comments. If you have survived a painful divorce or are in the middle of a separation, please be a part of this ongoing community healing process. This truly is the Alpha and the Omega for any of us moving through the grief from a divorce. We are all beginning new chapters in our lives, as we end the old ones. They are gone forever, but never forgotten in our hearts and minds. 408 months for me, and more or less for each of you.

Join me on this new journey of change, growth and happiness, and we will share our sorrows and our victories, our faith and our fears. This community of healing will pray together, learn together, and grow stronger together.

It is not done. It is only the beginning!

Torn

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