Loving the Learning

I keep thinking that there isn’t anything else I can go through this year. But life has a way of throwing you on a whirling Tilt-a-World when you aren’t looking.

January brought a divorce after 34 years of good and bad times, celebrations and grief. I crawled into a rabbit hole during February through April, battling with situational depression. Spring came, and my will to thrive returned. Summer was filled with joy and swimming with my grandkids and easy summer living; shorts, t-shirts and flip flops.

As summer was slowing down, I started dating for the first time since I was 18. If you follow my blog, you’ll know that I had a bunch of strange experiences. Some days were filled with power dating…..breakfast, lunch, happy hour. Other days were filled with brief encounters at Dunkin’ Donuts.

The age range of these men were from 51 to 75 and they ranged from grumpy old men, to ones who were simply going through the motions of life. I never found a guy who loved his life fully and many were concerned about their financial future….would they have enough money to last through retirement.

My dates numbered about 40, and I rarely dated anyone more than once….I had put my ex on a pedestal, and these guys had a hard time competing with him. I was always comparing the “special of the day” to my lingering memories.

Then the awful night when my son had to tell me about the suicide of my ex. It was like I had been driving 100 miles an hour with the power dating, and slammed into one of those concrete barriers used with crash test dummies. My breath was sucked out of my chest, and I was left with a sense of finality, closure and no return to the past.

I put the brakes on and stopped dating. I started a new job in a field that was completely new to me, as a financial advisor with a huge national firm. The past thirty days have been filled with training seminars, classes and testing, collecting up clients and learning non-stop.

How can a woman at age 63, re-invent herself? Is it possible to teach an old dog new tricks? Time will tell, but so far I am loving the learning.

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